As a hard-core horror movie fan I have many friends and family members that do not get my desire for, as they call it, “messed-up” movies. While I can get away with sneaking in a little gore and terror with my friends there’s certainly a number of horror movies I wouldn’t really want to watch with them present. On that note, Wicked horror lists some horror movies that might be an awkward sitting when Grandma is in the room.
THE LOVES ONES
Directed by Sean Byrne, The Loved Ones, brings its own original little dash of twisted. Social outcast Lola (Robin McLeavy) asks Brent (Xaier Samuel) to the prom but is turned down. Later, Brent is drugged and kidnapped and taken to Lola’s house where prom night is ready and waiting. This one makes the list because of Lola and her Daddy, who bring a brand of psychosis that is quite unsettling, even more so with how close their relationship might be. Not to mention, the sheer amount of torture that unfolds onscreen.
Justin Long stars as podcaster Wallace Bryton, who travels to the backwoods of Manitoba, and finds himself interviewing a mysterious seafarer named Howard Howe (the late Michael Parks). Genuine “WTF” moments make Kevin Smith’s Tusk a breath of fresh sea air for fans of comedy horror, but maybe not for granny.
THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE II (Full Sequence)
Tom Six’s The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is at the least somewhat bearable. The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), however, is so outrageous it hurts. (Don’t get me started on The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence)). Who likes to hurt their grandparents? Just don’t do it.
Can Evrenol’s Baskin is a whole lot of WTF. A squad of unsuspecting cops receive a call for back-up across town. Upon entering what they believe to be an abandoned building they stumble upon a black mass, quickly finding themselves in Hell. Baskin is chock-full of intense gore and hardcore imagery that even the strongest of stomachs may find difficult to digest.
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS
Ever wondered why the virgin always dies last, if at all? The Cabin in The Woods, directed by Drew Goddard and starring Chris Hemsworth, gives us an insight into the art of horror movie making, but it’s a bit sexy and basically a scary monster orgy. One which granny probably wouldn’t appreciate.
A group of students set out on an Easter vacation but soon find themselves being attacked by zombies. Tommy Wirkola’s Dead Snow is so gory and wrong and it’s so good. A real bloody laugh but possible a bit too much for the un-inducted.
Jay Chandrasekhar‘s (who also stars in the movie) Club Dread sees an island getaway of fun, sex, and alcohol turn into a bloody nightmare. Swanky Coconut Pete’s Coconut Beach Resort–a hedonistic island paradise for swingers–is set upon by a serial killer intent on interruption their fun. Too much sex, too much blood. Dreadful family viewing.
Directed by Jonathan King, Black Sheep sees an experiment in genetic engineering turn harmless sheep into bloodthirsty killers. You don’t want to put granny off knitting for life do you?
Probably one of the most infamous zombie films ever, Lucio Fulci’s Zombie is also one of the goriest. Probably not the kind of movie you want to watch with anyone who doesn’t count themselves a horror enthusiast.
Clive Barkers Hellraiser is the definition of horror. The movie delivers villains and visuals that will haunt your thoughts long after it’s finished. And it boasts an excellent story-line to match. Granny may not be able to handle her soul being torn apart.
Dario Argento’s Tenebre follows a horror author who is brought in to help investigate a killer who is taking inspiration from the author’s books. Tenebre brings intense gore but beautifully shot visuals which make everything all that more unnerving. There’s far too much sex and violence on display here to make this appropriate for family viewing.
Inside follows a woman on the brink of giving birth. Four months after the death of her husband, she is tormented in her home by a strange woman who desperately wants her unborn baby. While I love a bit of gore, Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury’s Inside is a lot for me to take. And if I’m squeamish, nan’s certainly going to be screaming.
I don’t think grandma would approve of all those body shots, adult film stars, bikini dance parties, skinny-dipping, and flesh-eating piranhas. Directed by Alexandre Aja, Piranha 3D, is sexy and fun, maybe a little too sexy for gran.
Jörg Buttgereit’s Nekromantik, is a difficult watch at the best of times. Robert (Bernd Daktari Lorenz) works for a company that cleans up dead bodies, and one day, he brings home a cadaver for he and his wife Betty (Beatrice Manowski) to enjoy sexually. Banned in a number of countries, Nekromantik is the ultimate sexual stomach churner.
Being unaware of his work, when I first started watching Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist I genuinely had to grab the dvd to check that I didn’t accidently pick up a randomly named adult movie. Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg’s sex scene in the beginning are shot in slow motion and extremely graphic (awkward with any family member). The rest of the movie is pretty tame until the last forty-five minutes (it’s a long movie) where Charlotte’s character pleasures her husband until he expels blood before performing a female circumcision on herself. Super awks.
Apparently, when you mix alien DNA with human DNA you get a beautiful young woman who can turn into an armour-plated killing machine in the blink of an eye. In Species, a female alien with an insatiable desire to procreate terrorizes her way through communities by having sex with and then killing everyone in her path. She spends most of the time taking her clothes off to bed a long line of men.
A SERBIAN FILM
A Serbian Film has to be the current titleholder as the most insanely twisted and deeply disturbing film in recent horror history. It’s banned in numerous countries and Netflix won’t even touch it. Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic, A Serbian Film, has as much depravity as possible with no boundaries, going places many films wouldn’t dare.
Now I can watch anything but Irreversible has a scene that even I felt uncomfortable watching, and I was by myself. The brutal ten-minute assault really is bad enough but the whole nightclub scene including the hard-core murder make this one you should never watch with granny. There’s also the dizzying/unstable camera-work that makes you nauseous, gran may get sick on that alone.
I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE
Another movie with an abuse scene or three that aren’t the easiest to watch on your own let alone with the fam. Steven R. Monroe’s remake of the, equally hard to watch, 1979 cult classic, I Spit on Your Grave is harsh, graphic and tough to stomach. Until the revenge scenes that is.
Director, Ruggero Deodato, had to prove to Italian courts that the deaths in Cannibal Holocaust were not real and produce the still living actors. Banned in many countries, this is hands down the most disgusting cannibal-themed movie in existence. Unless granny’s got an extremely strong stomach, keep her out of the room!